31 questions · Intimate mood

Questions to ask your girlfriend to know her even better

Questions to ask your girlfriend work best when they show you have been listening. These go past the daily check-in and into how she thinks, what she remembers, what she needs from you and where she sees the two of you going.

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What has been the best part of your week that you did not get to tell me about?

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Her world right now

  1. What has been the best part of your week that you did not get to tell me about?
  2. Who in your life is making you happiest lately?
  3. What is stressing you out that you have been downplaying?
  4. What are you looking forward to this month?
  5. What is something you have been wanting to try but have not made time for?
  6. What is a small thing I could take off your plate this week?
  7. What has been inspiring you lately?

Her story

  1. What were you like at fifteen?
  2. What is a moment from your past that shaped how you see yourself?
  3. Who did you look up to growing up, and do you still?
  4. What was your favorite place to be as a kid?
  5. What is a challenge you got through that I do not know enough about?
  6. What did your mom or dad get right that you want to carry forward?
  7. What is a memory you go back to when you need to feel good?
  8. What were you sure you would be when you grew up?

What she needs from you

Then actually do what she says.

  1. How can I support you better when you are having a rough day?
  2. What is something I do that you love and want more of?
  3. Is there anything I do that bothers you but you have not said?
  4. When do you feel most appreciated by me?
  5. How do you like to make up after a disagreement?
  6. What is something you wish I asked you about more often?
  7. What makes you feel safe in a relationship?
  8. What is one thing I could do this month that would mean a lot?

The future and the fun stuff

  1. Where do you want to travel together first?
  2. What does a perfect lazy Sunday together look like to you?
  3. What is a tradition you would love for us to start?
  4. What is something you want to accomplish in the next year?
  5. What is the funniest thing that has happened to us so far?
  6. What do you think was my most awkward moment while we were dating early on?
  7. If we opened a small business together, what would it be?
  8. What is my most annoying habit that you find secretly cute?

How to use them

Remember the answers. A girlfriend who tells you she has been wanting to try pottery and then finds a class booked a month later feels heard in a way no question alone can achieve. Some people keep a note on their phone, and that is fine.

Ask the support questions when things are calm. Asking how to help during a hard moment can feel like one more task for her. Asking in a good week means you will already know what to do when it gets hard.

Do not save these for special occasions. One question at dinner on a random Wednesday does more for closeness than a long talk once a year. The fun questions are just as valuable as the serious ones.

Questions people ask

Ask about what shaped her, what she needs to feel safe, what she is quietly stressed about and what she wants her life to look like. The second and third sections of this page are the place to start.

Little and often works better than big conversations once a year. A single meaningful question a week, asked casually, keeps you updated on someone who is always changing.

That is the best outcome. Answer as honestly as you hoped she would, and take it as a sign the conversation is working both ways.

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