Absurd what-ifs
- If animals could talk, which species would be the rudest?
- If you were a ghost, who would you haunt first and how?
- What would be the worst thing to hear from the person in the next bathroom stall?
- If your pet could text you, what would their first message be?
- If you had to replace your hands with kitchen utensils, which two would you pick?
- What is the worst possible name for a cruise ship?
- If every time you sneezed you teleported a few feet, how would your life change?
- What would a dog's Yelp review of your home say?
- If you were a vegetable, which one would you be, and how would you defend it?
Tell me the embarrassing story
The ones people only tell after a few laughs.
- What is the most embarrassing thing your parents have caught you doing?
- What is the worst haircut you have ever paid for?
- Have you ever walked into a glass door, and how many people saw?
- What is the most awkward thing you have said to someone you had a crush on?
- What did you believe as a kid that was completely wrong?
- What is the dumbest way you have ever been injured?
- What is the most cringeworthy thing you posted online as a teenager?
- Have you ever sent a text about someone to that exact person?
Silly opinions, defended seriously
- Is a hot dog a sandwich? Defend your answer like it is in court.
- Which fruit is the most overrated?
- What is the most useless invention that people still buy?
- What is the correct way to eat a Kit Kat?
- Which animal would be the most terrifying if it were the size of a horse?
- What everyday object has the most annoying sound?
- Which emoji is the most passive-aggressive?
- What is the worst flavor of chip that exists?
No right answer
- What would your wrestling entrance song be?
- What is the strangest thing you have ever eaten on purpose?
- What conspiracy theory would you start if you knew people would believe it?
- If your life were a sitcom, what would the title be?
- What would be the most boring superpower?
- What is your most useless talent, and can you demonstrate it?
- Which three words would your browser history use to describe you?
- If you had to wear one costume every day for a year, what would it be?
How to use them
Commit to the bit. The questions get funnier when everyone answers with total seriousness. Ask for a defense, push back on weak reasoning and let a ridiculous argument run for a few minutes.
Go first on the embarrassing stories. People share their worst moments more readily after someone else has gone, and the bar for embarrassment drops fast once one story is on the table.
Humor is a great shortcut with someone new. A strange question like the dog review of your home tells you more about someone's sense of humor than ten polite ones, and it works whether you are at a table or swapping voice notes with a new aura on Hush.
Questions people ask
Questions that unlock stories, like the most embarrassing thing their parents caught them doing, tend to be the funniest because everyone has a version. Absurd hypotheticals and silly debates work well in groups.
Yes. They lower the pressure and show someone's sense of humor quickly. Pick the absurd or opinion questions over the embarrassing ones until you know each other a little better.
Add your own answer right after you ask. It sets the tone, makes it clear you are playing and gives the other person something to react to if they need a second to think.